This year, Mother’s Day is on Sunday, May 13. If you haven’t marked your calendar or planned anything with your mom on Mother’s Day yet, it’s time to put a reminder on your phone’s calendar. Better yet, give her a call and book something now. Every year, I’d try to take my mom out for a Mother’s Day lunch or dinner to show my appreciation. I often believe that actions speak louder than words. However, for this occasion, it may be the opposite. So instead of showing my appreciation for my mom with actions, I am going to try to put it into words.
Display Of Affection
For the readers that had been reading my blog for a while, would you believe it if I tell you that I don’t feel comfortable to communicate my emotions or feelings to anyone verbally? I have always had trouble when it comes to displaying affections for others in public. I am not sure if it’s a Southern Asian cultural thing or an individual thing, but I don’t remember ever giving my mom a hug or a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye on any occasion. Those simple acts of affection just felt a bit awkward to me. An area that I definitely need to work on.
Showing Thanks
Since I have trouble with communicating or showing affection, showing thanks to people close to me also feels a bit weird too. I mean I have always been thankful to others for helping me. It’s just that somehow I find it hard to express my gratitude verbally towards people close to me. The only time that I remember thanking my parents was in a speech at my wedding. My eyes got a little watery after I finished that speech. It seems like showing emotion in public is not a strength of mine.
Call Mom More Often
I am not the chatty type that will call people up just to chat. Even with my mom, I don’t call her out of the blue just to say hi. I know that I should be calling her once in a while, but I have trouble doing that. I just don’t really know what to say because I don’t usually call people for no reason or just to have small talks. Fortunately for me, my wife is there to encourage me to do that and she will call on my behalf from time to time. It really makes my mom happy to receive a call from her kid.
Visit Mom More Often
Ever since I bought my own house 10 years ago and move out of my parents’ house, I have been visiting her less frequently. Even though I am only about 40 minutes away, I have gotten so used to life in the suburb. I find it a bit stressful to drive into the city to visit her. In the recent years, my kids are not helping either. They start to cry when our vehicle gets stuck in traffic. Luckily my kids are a bit older now and they start to warm up to the idea of going into the city to visit grandma. My mom was noticeably happier when we visited her more recently.
Connect With Mom On Social Media
Since I have been visiting my mom a bit more lately, I just learned that she was on Facebook. I would have never imagined that she’ll be on Facebook because she’s not the techy type. I guess people change and they find hobbies once they retire. We became friends on Facebook and my wife started to share our kids’ photos on her timeline and she loved it. She loves browsing through our kids’ photo album and being able to access those photos whenever she wants.
Have More Family Gathering
Over the years, my siblings and I got very different working schedules. It’s quite difficult for all of us to come together to have a gathering with mom. Last Christmas, we were able to have a family gathering where she’s able to be with most of her kids and grandkids. She had a great time. We took quite a few pictures, shared it on her Facebook timeline and she can’t wait to have more of those gatherings. I felt a bit guilty that I was not trying that hard to have more family gatherings in the recent years. However, it’s not too late for me to try a bit harder to make mom happy.
Cook Together
I am not sure if she’s a great cook in other people’s opinion, but in my opinion, she’s my best cook. I remember that when I was young, there was not a lot of meat to go with our rice during meal time, but there was always plenty of flavourful sauces in her dish to add it to my rice to help me finish my meals. Now that we are not living in the same house anymore, whenever she comes by my house, she’ll always give new recipes try. For this Mother’s Day, it may be a great day for us to just spend some quality time to cook together and do some bonding.
Go On Trips Together
While growing up, our family did not have a budget for discretionary spending like going on vacations. I’ve never taken a family vacation with my mom before. So a family vacation my the kids and my mom is long overdue. Hence, this year, one of my financial goals is to build a vacation fund on top of my savings. I will be budgeting the vacation fund to include my mom coming along with us. Hopefully, we can find a suitable destination that will be fun for all of us.
My Two Cents
Mother’s day is just one day in a year. We shouldn’t be waiting until Mother’s Day to show our appreciation for our moms. We can show our appreciation on any of the other 364 days of the year. Happy Mother’s Day mom. Thank you for supporting and raising me to be the person that I am today. And happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there.
What’s your plan to celebrate Mother’s Day? What activity would you recommend to celebrate Mother’s Day?
About Leo
Hey Leo
I think the trip idea would be fantastic. Your mom would love it and have a great time with her grandkids. Unfortunately when my parents got a divorce (I was about 10) my mom left and did her own thing every once in awhile (been about 5 yrs now) I will hear from her. She moves all over the place and really isn’t part of our lives anymore (me and my sisters). Make sure to spend time with your mom. We wI’ll be hanging out with my mother in law for the day and I spoil the wife more since she’s a great mom.
Happy mothers day to all the moms next week
@PassiveCanadianIncome, Sorry to hear that you mom is not very actively involved in your life. Sometimes, when parents separate it can be difficult for a family to stick together.
I’ve booked lunch with my mom already and we’ll be spending some time at the park with her, the kids and our dog Maxx.
Nice Leo, very nice, well written and well thought out. and agree with you on most of your points
Since coming to Canada as an immigrant way way back when, I’ve noticed different cultures as well as folks from all walks of life have different approach to ‘affection’ Young or old, children & parents alike.
Mothers day or Fathers day is a day commercialised by those that make money from it, when in fact those that gave us life should be loved equally 365 days a year, not just the phone call, the social media but the face to face smile, hugs, sharing of the joy of living.
I don’t believe in the ‘oh, it’s Mothers day or your birthday we should take you out for a celebration’. why?
In fact any day, spontaneously is when YOU make time for your parent. Just like when we were children our parents made the time for us, we now as adults should make that time also, for the reason ‘one day they won’t be with us’ – then what can you say to yourself…’I should have done more!’
So from now till their passing spend more of YOUR time with your Mother. Never miss the daily phone call, try to see them as regular as possible just to have tea. When they call you, never ever brush them off, listen to what they want to talk about. As for social media with your Mother, I just don’t get that.
The annual commercialised Mothers day is one day and it shouldn’t be the ONLY DAY when you do things for them or with them. Too me when my Mother was alive every day was Mothers day.
@John, I definitely noticed that days like Valentine, Monther’s Day, Father’s Day and Christmas is way too over-commercialized. However, I understand that everyone is just trying to take advantage of opportunities that are available at their disposal. If these days are not commercialized, I don’t think people will put that much importance for these days.
As I get older, I definitely try to spend more time with the family. As you said, we should make time for them and we can do more if we try.
Last year, I cooked my mom dinner and we had a fun time with my parents and sisters.
This year, I think I’ll do something similar 🙂
Thanks for sharing Leo and have a good weekend!
@Erik, it seems like you have a Mother’s day tradition going there. Keep it up, especially the cooking. Not a lot of guys can claim to be a good cook :).
I really need to visit my mother more often. Between work and the kids, we never get any mother-daughter time anymore.
@Jessica, I have two kids myself and I can definitely relate to the busy schedules. I find that if you just make a little effort to spend time with mom, everyone will be a bit happier.
Those are great ideas to celebrate mother’s day. Having some time to talk to mom and listen to her is the most valuable gift you can give.
@Pellrider, having more chat with mom and let her know what you are up to is definitely a good habit. I am not very chatty, so I definitely need to work a bit harder on this front. What’s a good topic to chat with moms that’ll keep the conversation going?
What wonderful ideas! I am going to have to do a few of these for my mom. We don’t get much mother daughter time together anymore.
@Lauren, in today’s fast-paced world, not only am I not spending much time with my mom, I also feel that I am not spending as much time with my kids either. It’s tough when you spend about 11 hours away from home each day.
Your post made me miss my mom more. I’ll definitely call her and send her something on mom’s day! Thanks for this!
@Kim, do call her. I am pretty sure that your mom will love to hear from you and would be delighted to do something with you on Monther’s day.
I love this! I’m lucky enough to be 45 minutes away from my mom now, so I try to see her often! We’ll be spending Mother’s Day together as well.
@Amber, it’s great that your mom is not that far from you. Hope that you have a great time with your mom this coming Mother’s Day.
I love that you included connect with Mom on social media in your post. I decided to do that and now my Mom likes EVERYTHING that I put out there. She truly is my biggest fan. Thanks for the great tips!
@Erica, I wish that my mom discovered the like and share function so that she’ll be liking and sharing all my posts. On second thought, I can always teach her how to use it :).
I am quite similar in that I find it hard to show appreciation and emotions generally, it doesn’t mean they don’t exist and don’t materialise in other ways, aside from the verbal; which is incidentally not particularly demonstrative.
@Lisa, I wonder if we were raised in an environment where our parents do not show affection, then we tend to feel awkward if we do show affection. I am trying to show more affections with my kids now. I wonder if it’ll change how I show affection for others. Time will tell, maybe I’ll share it in another post.
I definitely want to take my mom on a vacation with us. For that matter, I’d love to send them on vacation somewhere. Ideally Norway, so my Dad can see his roots and then to Ireland so my mom can see where she came from. I’m not sure they’d ever agree but I’d think they’d love it!!!
@MSM, sending your parent away on a vacation is a great idea. I am pretty sure my parents would love to visit their birthplace to see how things have changed. I wonder if they’ll even remember how it’s like.
What lovely tips to spend more time with your mother on mothers day. I feel that no matter what part of the world you are on, there is no reason not to spend time with your mother. Well done.
@Molly, you’re right. With today’s technology that bringing the world close together, we can bring mom to our living room even if she’s half way around the world.
Some of these are great. But my mother is so technophobic that it would be hard trying to get her to connect on social media. She barely carries a phone around with here at all and mostly for emergencies.
@David, people change when they discover things that they like. I never thought that my mom will be a facebook user. Somehow, she loves the idea of being able to see pictures of family and friends. That’s her motivation for learning new things and using technology.
I always mean to call my mom more often but a lot of times I forget. Shoot, I almost forgot to tell her happy anniversary yesterday and only remembered when I saw someone say Happy Cinco de Mayo. (That’s how I remember it!)
@Erin, when you put in a little effort, you can get it done. You just need to put in the commitment. I use to either forget to all or not call at all previously. Once I made the commitment to spend more time with my mom, things just got easier.
Love your ideas. My mom does not live close so it is hard to see her. I will try some of your ideas, thank you.
@Cynthia, a little effort goes a long way. It could be a phone call, email or facetime. You can make it happen.
Agree. Parents are special and making time to be with them or talk to them should be an ongoing thing. Esp. as they get older they need the kids for an emotional boost, more than anything.
@Pooja, that’s the exact same thought. I want my kids to spend more time with us in the future, so what better ways to show them than to lead by example and spend more time with our own parents?
I totally agree that moms need more attention all year round. I love these ideas you’ve shared. I definitely need to call and visit my mom more often.
@Heidi, you are absolutely right that we should give mom more attention, not just on Mother’s Day.
I call my mom every day and make sure I always tell her I love her. My favorite Mother’s Day gift is sleep!
@Megan, being a parent of two young kids myself, sleep is a great gift. I can never get enough nowadays.
Hi! I love your blog! I suddenly missed my mom… We were no longer living together because she got married recently. But for me, I find a little awkward if we are friends on facebook. She might see my crazy updates about nonsense things lol.
@Danica, you may be sharing a bit too much of your private life I guess :). Always use discretion because you’ll never know if any of the crazy stuff that you shared can have a affect on you in the future.
Hello Leo!
Thanks for the friendly and simple reminders to connect and spend time with Not only Mom but with our parents. Going on a trip with them is a great way to spend time and explore new places together.
With watsapp and video conferencing it really helped to keep everyone stay connected
@Everest, I am on whatsapp, but I have not thought of connecting with my mom using this tool yet. It can be a great way to send her pics. Thanks for the tip.
Display of affection is also not really my thing! Haha..but it is true that not only on Mothers’ Day that we only show our love to our mother / parents. Probably will head out for dinner with my family. All the special days we usually go out for more special meals 🙂
@Chuen, family gatherings on special holidays or birthdays are quite common on my wife’s side of the family, but not as common on my side. I definitely need to do more on this front.
Beautifully written. I will certainly not forget to appreciate my mummy.
@Jiashinlee, we only have one mommy so it’s important to appreciate her any way we can.
There are so many ways to show our mothers how much we appreciate them. These are the sweetest ideas! There’s nothing better than planning a trip with your mother.
@Elizabeth, the only trip that I went with my mom was to a road trip to visit my grandma who lives about a 9 hour drive from us. I really want to either go on a cruise or an all inclusive resort together as we had never taken a real vacation together.
Really have to spend more time with them! Cryyyyyy
Although am stay outside, but still got call them often.
@Kelly, Even if you cannot visit mom that often, calling her on a regular basis is a great idea. I am sure that your mom is happy to hear from you.
A short getaway for mothers day would be nice! Im sure they’ll love it!!
@Iman, I love to have short getaways. However, with two young kids, it’s a little difficult to plan. My kids don’t travel well.
Last week I asked my Mom if we likes to go out-of-town and head to a island resort for Mother’s Day. She gave me that stern look and says “Why wasting money on someone else’s resort wherein you have your own just at the back of this house?” Hahaha I laugh so hard.. Yeah typical Mom. More reason to spoil her 🙂
@Blair, our parents tend to want us to save money. When we offer them something luxurious, they will often tell us it’s not the gift that makes them happy it’s the thought that counts. If we can do both, that’ll be awesome.
I live in a different continent than my mum so I have to contend to a post card and some flowers I am sending her. She knows I love her though.
Katja xxx
http://www.katnapped.com
@Katja, a hand-written note can be a great gift. People don’t send many handwritten cards anymore because of technology. I sometimes still prefer to do certain things the old fashion way like sending a hand-written card.
I think it is an Asian thing for the inability to express emotions, even in private. I am the same, preferring to express my thoughts in writing.
@Emily, I am kinda suspecting that too as I don’t see many Asian showing affections. Not in public for sure. This is what I am trying to change with my kids, I am trying to show more affection so that they are comfortable with it.
I got my mom a kitten this year since she expressed her desire to own one.. it took some time to adopt one which I thought she would like and well, we got one which she really adored.. then I gave her some other things so she would be able to feel more treasured….despite not having an awesome relationship with my mom as we have our differences and bad past, which she abused me… I still care for her as my mom
@Miera, buying mom a pet that she loves is a great idea. My mom is permanently babysitting my dog for me now. I think she loves having a pet.
It’s so important to thank our mothers not only just on mothers day but every day! Without them we would not be here. Great post.
Visiting and calling home is so important, not only on Mothers Day. Lovely post!
Happy Mother’s Day, I’ve been trying to spend more time with family now, my parents are important to me 🙂
Thats great ideas but i think we should celebrate mothers day every day. It dont have to be anything grand or special just have to spend time with parents.